A mom. A wife. A sister. A daughter. A daughter in-law. A woman. A friend. A cook. A maid. A student.
Yes, I have a lot of job descriptions. I probably have more. And people wonder why I need medication.
I can now admit that I have taken on too much in too little a time. Now, do not let this be confused with regret. I would not trade in any of my kids, or circumstances for anything. But where I was once defensive and one acted like I had it all "together", I can now admit that I have taken too much on. WE have taken too much on. God gives us people who are older than us to impart wisdom and the Bible clearly states that it is a fool who doesn't heed wisdom. Man, we are such fools.
How many times have we needed to be bailed out? How many times are we going to be victims of "circumstances"? When are we going to learn?
I know there are plenty of people who look at us and wonder the same thing. The Salgado family is constantly struggling, and people worry about us. Well, guess what? Keep praying, and stop worrying! We are beginning to mature! We are (gasp) growing up!
After marriage struggles, parenting struggles, financial struggles, family struggles, we are finally on the same page. Raul and I are finally united with a new found passion to make it. We have embarked on a journey of managing the finances that God has entrusted to us well. We have embarked on "scream free" parenting. We are learning to forgive and talk through things, not only as a couple, but also with our family members.
We are also learning to fall in love. We realized we have never truly been in love before. We were in "lust". Then we got pregnant, and ended up getting married. Then we started renting a casita, then we rented a house, then we bought our first house, and then we rented a huge house. We have never just let things be. We add pets, children, houses, and who knows what else anytime things calm down. We have to make things exciting and stressful. We have to be going at all times.
Where did this get us? This got us a temporary separation, anger problems, depression problems, living with Raul's parents, four kids in four years, two indoor cats who are living outdoors, and many more problems that are more private.
How does God teach us? He redeems us. He doesn't bail us out and make things perfect but he mentors the willing heart. Personally. He lets us learn from our mistakes. And he loves us through them. There are little blessings, that are sometimes hidden, but they are there. Raul and I are truly falling in love with Him and are learning to trust his will for our lives and our family. Raul and I are also learning to love each other and love each other well. We are learning to love our kids well, and what discipline really looks like. We have the chance to just "be". For once in our loves we are content to just be still. Well, as still as you can be with four little ones running around like little crazy honyaks. (Honyak- h-on--y-o-k noun: to be crazy, silly, wild; origin Grandpa Kirby)
Please pray for the Salgado family. Pray that we will continue to be united. Pray that we will fall even deeper in love with our God, and each other. Pray that we will stay on track with our financial goals. Pray that next weekend as we go scatter my mom's ashes, we will experience healing and comfort. Pray for healing of the damage to each one of our children's little hearts as we have not parented well the past couple years. Pray that our hearts always remain teachable to wisdom.
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