Friday, September 6, 2013

The dark, scary abyss of my heart.... (better beware)



I’ve been longing to write.  I’ve been needing the release of something deep and profound to encompass my ever needy soul.  With that longing has come the stifling anxiety that feels like a two ton weight is sitting on my chest, and that overwhelming feeling has comprised all of my day to day activities, thoughts, feelings, and fears.  Part of this distress is the dread that someone might see into the deep empty chasm that my heart has become. This stone cold structure has been built up to avoid letting any light, happiness, or contentment in.  Feeling any type of emotion would open up the possibility of the breakdown that I started feeling coming on.  That ever present knowledge that my control is slipping, that my sanity could be questionable, that I might just lose it, has caused me to shut down, be guarded, and lose the ability to feel anything at all.  Well, anything but this crushing panic-ridden anxiety, that is.

How can I let anyone in?  How can I truly admit to anyone how furious I am with multiple people around me, how abandoned I feel, how hurt I am?  How can I divulge the deep and personal reality that I am truly questioning God?   People will judge me.  People have always judged me.

As a people pleaser one of my greatest fears is the rejection, abandonment, gossip, and condemnation of those around me.  I want to be accepted, loved, and cherished.  Why is it that there are constantly rumors about me?  Why must people sit around judging the clothes I wear, what my body looks like, the food I eat, how many kids I have, my parenting style, or even how we spend our money?  When it comes back to me that I am your topic at the dinner table, it kills me, and makes me want to run away, to hide, to never be seen again.   The thing is, I really shouldn’t care.  But unfortunately,  I do.  I want so much to be loved instead of criticized and the need to spread gossip about me hurts me to my core. 

I love our church, I have gone there since I was 8 years old.  It feels like a family there and while everyone smiles and hugs me, I am also reminded that some of these people have hurt me, or my mother, or my family in deep ways.  How do I work past the bitterness of my cold stone heart? Should I run away?  Should I find a new church?  Should I start over fresh?  The darkness that is encroaching my very being is frightening to me, but I feel alone and powerless to stop it.  I have been afraid to admit it, to let anyone see what has been going on inside me.  I have allowed a few people to know little bits and pieces of how I am struggling with this, but nobody knows the full truth.  Nobody can possibly understand what is really going on in here.

I do not want to stay cold, dark, angry, and bitter like this.  I do not want to continue on in such a state.  I do not know what to do in order to feel alive again, to feel purpose, to feel warm.  I want to feel something, anything.  I need do get a grip on this painful anxiety, this dreadful overwhelming panic.  Should I allow the attack to come?  Should I finally let it loose and allow my control to subside?  Will anyone be there to help walk me back to sanity?  Is anyone truly there to catch me when I fall?  Does anyone truly love me unconditionally?  I think each and every person has their own conditions and if anything goes past the point of their conditions, I will be alone in my dismal state.  I already feel lonely.  I cannot bear the idea of being totally alone in this. 

What do I do?  How do I move on?  I do I become human again?  Forgive me if I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, if I cannot find the hope and joy in my circumstances.  Maybe I am finally entering a stage of grief.  I have, after all, stuffed it for two and a half years.  Maybe I am entering the anger stage.  Maybe I really do have PTSD like some have told me that I might.  But how do I go on?  Where do I go from here?  I do not want to continue to live like this, in this deep abyss of my broken heart, but I do not know how to get out, how to be safe, how to be warm, how to feel again. 

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